Why leaders don't listen

Sometimes leaders don't listen because they are afraid it makes them look weak, or because it takes too much time, or because it might mean they themselves have to change. This can be too true in the church as well as in the world. I thought the below were some good insights worth listening to.. about leaders being able to listen 🙂

Listening has its enemies

Our findings support existing evidence that managers who listen well are perceived as people leaders, generate more trust, instill higher job satisfaction, and increase their team’s creativity. Yet, if listening is so beneficial for employees and for organizations, why is it not more prevalent in the workplace? Why are most employees not listened to in the way they want? Research shows that a few barriers often stand in the way:

• Loss of Power. Research from our team has shown that some managers may feel that if they listen to their employees they are going to be looked upon as weak. But at the same time, it’s been shown that being a good listener means gaining prestige. So it seems managers must make a tradeoff between attaining status based on intimidation and getting status based on admiration.

• Listening Consumes Time and Effort.In many instances, managers listen to employees under time pressure or while they’re distracted by other thoughts or work. So listening is an investment decision: managers must put in the time to listen in order to see the future benefits. 

• Fear of Change. High-quality listening can be risky because it entails entering a speaker’s perspective without trying to make judgments. This process could potentially change the listener’s attitudes and perceptions. We observed several times that when we trained managers to truly listen, they gained crucial insights about their employees — they were stunned to learn how little they knew about the lives of people they’d worked with for many years.

Source: https://hbr.org/2018/05/the-power-of-listening-in-helping-people-change 

Conduct yourselves with fear, knowing that you were ransomed with the precious blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:17-19)

"And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot."  (1 Peter 1:17-19; ESV)

What you think about a thing determines what you do with it.

If I showed you a cup that had become a family heirloom, which I explained to you had both intense nostalgic value, and which after becoming lost, my grandfather paid thousands of dollars to retrieve it, and I presented it to you to handle, what would you do with it? I think the way you handled it would be vastly different than if you thought that cup was simply bought for a dollar at the local supermarket. You would handle that cup with carefulness, with reverence, and with fear, knowing how much value it had been given, because of the price that was paid for it.

In 1 Peter 1:17 we are told to "conduct yourselves with fear", and following immediately after speaking of our Father who "judges impartially according to one's deeds", we might assume Peter is speaking of that kind of terror of judgement, that trembling of appearing in the holy court room, which we have commonly heard about. However, Peter's sentence doesn't stop at verse 17, but he further explains why we are to conduct ourselves with fear, because we know God has ransomed us with the precious blood of Christ. I think it is the kind of fear which is more like the handling of that cup given a value beyond obvious comprehension. We do not flee in terror, but are drawn to it in marvel and awe, and yet very carefully, very hesitantly. As we think about our lives, redeemed by the precious blood of Christ, we handle ourselves with great care. Because we know that if God would judge us only on our own merits, we would suffer deservedly his terrible wrath. And yet, nevertheless, he gave his one and only Son, that Christ's death--his precious blood--was the ransom-price to redeem as from our slavery in sin.

If that is what we think about our life, what will we do with it?

Psalm 130:4 and John Murray on the Fear of God

In Psalm 130:4 we have a curious and intriguing sentence: "But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared." If it had just said that the LORD may be loved, or thanked, or praised, or worshipped, that may have been more expected. But why "feared"? Often we have a conception of fear which pushes away from rather than drawing us near to God. How does an apprehension of forgiveness lead us to fear the LORD?

I think John Murray's little treatment on "the Fear of God", the last chapter within his book, Principles of Conduct: Aspects of Biblical Ethics, is helpful here. Murray first distinguishes between two Scriptural senses in which we are to fear God, which he describes in a footnote as: "the fear of being afraid of God and his punitive judgments" and "the fear of reverential awe and adoration". And then he makes this important point which helps us to understand Psalm 130:4...

The fear of God which is the soul of godliness does not consist, however, in the dread which is produced by the apprehension of God’s wrath. When the reason for such dread exists, then to be destitute of it is the sign of hardened ungodliness. But the fear of God which is the basis of godliness, and in which godliness may be said to consist, is much more inclusive and determinative than the fear of God’s judgement. And we must remember that the dread of judgement will never of itself generate within us the love of God or hatred of the sin that makes us liable to his wrath. Even the infliction of wrath will not create the hatred of sin; it will incite to greater love of sin and enmity against God. Punishment has of itself no regenerating or converting power. The fear of God in which godliness consists is the fear which constrains adoration and love. It is the fear which consists in awe, reverence, honour, and worship, and all of these on the highest level of exercise. It is the reflex in our consciousness of the transcendent majesty and holiness of God. It belongs to all created rational beings and does not take its origin from sin. The essence of sin may be said to be negation of God’s fear.

It is only through an apprehension of God's mercy and forgiveness, and the restored relationship that results from that, that we will really be able fear God in the second sense. Without it, we will only turn away from God, and even the first sense of fear will only further push us away from God instead of drawing us closer to him in reverential fear.

I am further reminded of how the Westminster Confession of Faith describes true repentance in turning to God, which must also include a proper apprehension of God's mercy in Christ...

Repentance unto life is an evangelical grace, the doctrine whereof is to be preached by every minister of the Gospel, as well as that of faith in Christ. By it, a sinner, out of the sight and sense not only of the danger, but also of the filthiness and odiousness of his sins, as contrary to the holy nature, and righteous law of God; and upon the apprehension of His mercy in Christ to such as are penitent, so grieves for, and hates his sins, as to turn from them all unto God, purposing and endeavouring to walk with Him in all the ways of His commandments.

[WCF 15:1-2]